I know. February 14th is just a day, right? It's jut a date on a calendar page...like August 10th...only special to those who have special meaning behind that day. Well...for ME...Valentine's Day is special for a different reason. I'm extremely superstitious about it's powers...and the bad luck it brings me.
I'm one of the most romantic souls you will ever meet. I love to love...I love to be loved and spread love and tell those I love that I love them. I love, in theory, that there's a day devoted to expressing love to others.
Unfortunately, Valentine's Day brings bad memories for me. In the third grade, we had secret Valentine's pals. We had to hand make a gift for this person. I made my Valentine a heart shaped cake. The little boy I had a crush on the entire year had drawn my name and made me an adorable heart-shaped, hand painted box. I got sick and not only had to stiff the person who was going to receive my cake, but I never got to open my gift from my crush. In the seventh grade, I was 'going with' a boy who I really really liked (and we went out from September until June, which is like being married for ten years when you're in the seventh grade) and he sent me roses to my homeroom. Again, I had a migraine and was home sick. he left the flowers with the homeroom teacher and I never got them. Another one bites the dust.
In high school, I asked a guy to our Sweetheart Dance (which fell on Valentine's Day) and he originally said yes...until another, better option came along...and I got declined.
In college, I got cheated on on Valentine's Day. I waited up all night for my boyfriend to come over after he got off work. He never came. In the morning when he finally answered his phone, he told me he'd spent the night at Destiney's house. Nice. Thanks so much.
Another guy I had dated for over a year and I broke up on Valentine's Day. I had dropped the hint and even offered to buy tickets to a Wild Game for the big day...and not only did he say "no...I have something else in mind" but when the night came, he had NoTHING planned...and after watching him watch TV for a couple hours acting like nothing was wrong, I packed up my things and left...for good.
When I waited tables, I spent many Valentine's nights waiting on lovers who spent the evening eating off of each other's forks and sharing bottles of wine and rich desserts. I was 'in' on a couple Valentine's Day proposals. For the romantic in me, I was more than the 'bitter, party of one'???
Last year, however...the cycle was broken. After dating someone for 5.5 months, he got it...and that made me love him even more. It's not a day all about me. I never wanted that. I just wanted one thing to happen to let me know that yes, I love you, and yes, I appreciate you and yes, I may not understand the importanace of this day but I DO understand that it's important to you so I'll take you out someplace nice. And he did. We tried The Blue Point in Wayzata and it was amazing...and I was finally one of those couples I'd waited on so many times...and I ordered wine and a wonderful Swordfish and savored every bite. I got a wonderfully sweet card that now lives attached to my sun visor in my car so everytime I look up, I see it...my reminder that he cares...and I got a present that I use on a very regular basis...practical yet thoughtful. I met the man who understands me. The best Valentine of all.
I love you, Phil.
A New Chapter
1 year ago